you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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