look no pants
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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