her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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