Farmville is her only friend.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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