i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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