drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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