my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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