I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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