Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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