i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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