Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize