there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize