Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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