just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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