you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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