I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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