Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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