just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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