Fuck appropriateness.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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