You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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