I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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