are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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