I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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