accomplished twins. life is a go
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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