so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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