Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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