So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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