Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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