there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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