I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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