I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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