He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize