that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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