If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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