I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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