Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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