Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize