return my video game
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize