last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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