Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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