to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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