Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize