it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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