I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
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He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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