Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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