so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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