While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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