you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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