they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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