I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize