If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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